No really, the Purple Teletubby is . . .

Brandon Johnson wonders who will prevail in zing's competitive pinata bang up—Miami Basel's Samuel Keller or CSI's Horatio Caine

Stephen Wong and Danny Lyu dumbfounded over Courtney Love's newest makeover

Calling Binder and Binder to consult on their ongoing legal problems

Has anyone seen Devon's scarf?

So much plaid and so much rain . . . are we in Portland or Seattle?

A ventriloquist is a finalist on America's Got Talent!

Yo Fitty

Leah Hansen channels starchitect Daniel Libeskind

Nanoo, Nanoo!

Carolina Rodriguez demolishes the VIP Pinata Car

Fireworks? UFO? Tribeca Grand decor?

Tess Knoebel swings with the ferocity of Barry Bonds

Give it up for Stephen Wong

. . . and the guy with Devon's scarf finally breaks it open

Call them love socks, sheaths, willie hats or rubbers, these are art-world endorsed and fully lubricated: Hirst, Benglis, Currin, Emin, and Koh

Danny, Tess and Stephen ponder the rarity of Murder She Wrote marathons

Trong Nguyen frantically trades for the Terence Koh condom

Aron Namenwirth and Fernando Troya reminisce about Real World Denver

Kenny and Cartman in a fetching argument about fake IDs

Tess Knoebel and Sandy Kafenshtok share recipes for miracle whip

Night Watch Redux

Is that a Julian Schnabel coming out of his head?

Grace Kim abstains from casting her Oscar vote

DJ Sascha P channeling Novicelli

Really, you've got talent, Little Miss Sunshine

The first round of musical gallery chairs

People all over the (art) world, join hands . . . one less chair, one more artist

And the beat goes on

Hootie & the Blowfish are so inspirational

As rejuvenating as the Crest Spin Brush

Tijuana, baby

I've got moves you've never seen

Speed Pinata Dating: better than a night cap

An '80s Benetton weave doubles as a blindfold

. . . and the grand prize -- the "ceci n'est pas une pipe" pipe